Wow, I’m really losing momentum here.
Not posting. That’s what I need.
I’ve had a very long day today, so I don’t have a full-length post in me. But I wanted to report that last night’s self-care routine made a big difference. I was able to navigate smoothly through some things that would have been difficult had I felt tired or anxious.
I’m taking good care of myself again tonight – I’ll let you know if the effects are cumulative!
Dating in your 30’s:
This is a true story, absolutely 100% free of exaggeration, embellishment or embroidery.
“This morning, a young man requested a ride.
When I picked him up, I just couldn’t decide:
Was his sense of smell deadened from years of abuse?
Or did he think cologne was a valid excuse
To forgo all societal bathing conventions;
I hope that seduction was not his intention,
As women aren’t usually too enthusiastic
When the scent of a man makes their bronchioles go spastic!
I wanted to tell him ‘Get out of my car!’;
I honestly doubted I’d make it as far
As the corner engulfed in that odious stench;
But I sucked up my misery, cuz I am a mensch.
I drove him uptown, each minute an hour!
No unit of time could diminish the power
Of that foul perfume, as it dug in its claws –
Surely this bastard is breaking some laws?
I tried to engage in some light conversation
But found that I couldn’t ignore the sensation
Of icy-hot knives stabbing into my nose;
Such was the force of the scent that he chose.
My eyes watered freely to try to assuage
That odious odor’s relentless barrage
But I suffered in silence, counting each second
While outside my window sweet SWEET fresh air beckoned!
After what felt like days, at last – we arrived!
I honestly couldn’t believe I’d survived.
He set out from my car with a smile and a wave,
Not seeing the under-dash finger I gave.
I wish that I’d mustered the courage to tell him
That even folks living in China could smell him!
I hate that his scent trailed me all the way home,
But at least this ordeal spawned a half-decent poem!”
I just do not have a post in me today. I tried all day, I really did.
One of the things I vowed that I would work on during this round of NaBloPoMo is my habit of discounting anything other than a formal blog post as ‘not a real post’. I have a tendency toward perfectionism, which inevitably leads to me giving up when I realize that I can’t possibly live up to the standard that I’ve set for myself. It’s silly, really – I spend half of my workday explaining to high school kids the value of hands-on experience and experimentation and creativity, and then I stifle those things in myself.
I suppose it stems from my self-esteem issues in high school. I was constantly petrified of looking stupid, and so I carefully guarded anything other than what I saw as my best work. But as I age and come to know myself better, I’m learning that limiting the parts of me that others see benefits no one. In fact, I’m finding that my imperfections and my efforts to work on them have brought me new friends that challenge me, new interests that excite me, and new knowledge that makes me a more interesting and well-rounded person.
Sooooo thank you for listening and allowing me to work my shit out in here.