I just finished reading The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo. In one sitting. Practically drowning in my own tears.
What a beautiful, beautiful book. I have a particular weakness for stories with rabbit protagonists, of course, but it’s more than that. Edward’s story of love and loss, how they shape and destroy and rebuild you, made me ache in a quiet, deep-down, permanent sort of way.
Reading it today, the last day of NaBloPoMo, is fitting. It’s helped to crystallize all of the little things I’ve learned about myself in the last 30 days into one solid lesson:
Open your heart.
Edward’s unexpected journey begins because he does not know how to love. As his travels take him from place to place and person to person, he learns what it is to need someone, to keep part of them with you when they go away — and after they’ve gone, how desperately important it is to let yourself need someone again.
What I need more than anything right now is to accept more love into my life. I’ve got lots of friends and family that I love very much, but I feel as though I’ve been keeping them at arm’s length, so they won’t see those parts of me that are vulnerable or sad or ridiculous; loving them so hard but finding it impossible to believe that they return the feeling — and how could they, really, if I’m not open to receiving it?
“If you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless.”
-The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane
Writing every day has helped me to work on this a little bit. My friends and family have shared so much of themselves with me, and while I don’t plan to turn this blog into one long thank-you card, I do hope that by putting a little more of myself out there every day I can return the favour in a small way. I will try to accept the vulnerable, sad, ridiculous parts of me as I do for my loved ones, and I will give them the chance to accept me too.
Thank you for taking this NaBloPoMo journey with me, dear readers, and I hope you’ll keep coming back for more. I intend to love you, and I hope you’ll return the favour!