Working On It

I lost my job this week.

For the record, I wasn’t fired. My part-time contract was eliminated by a new full-time permanent position that I was not eligible to apply for because I’m not already a full-time permanent employee.

It sucks, but it really could be worse. I’ve got ten weeks of lieu pay coming to me and a short contract after that, so I’m OK financially. My bosses hated to let me go and have all offered to give glowing references. I loved my job, but my self-esteem wasn’t tied to it. It’s spring, so I won’t be cooped up in my house hating life. All in all, I’m feeling pretty OK about the whole thing.

Today was my first official day of freedom. All day long I’ve been getting texts from friends and family — checking up on me, I guess. I HAVE hit some pretty crappy patches in the last few years — maybe they’re afraid that this particular crap-patch will be the one that makes me fall apart.

But here’s the thing: how can you fall apart when you’ve never really had it together?

It probably doesn’t look that way from the outside. I mean, I’ve always managed to pay my bills, I have close friends and family who love me and whom I love, and I’m generally a functional human being. Life has been good.
But the thing is… I want life to be great.

So that’s how I’m going to spend the next few months of my life — getting it together. I’m not exactly sure what that’s going to look like, but I hope you’ll all drop by the blog from time to time to offer words of advice and encouragement as I find out!

It's gon' be a bumpy ride.
It’s gon’ be a bumpy ride.

10 thoughts on “Working On It

  1. There’s some stupid ‘inspirational’ quote out there…something about true success is wanting what you have, not getting what you want…..or some shit like that. It sucks when you’re in the your current position, but when you’re outside of it, it does make some sense.

    I want my life to be great, but my life is what it is, so I need to find the greatness within ir. You are already great, ergo, (yes I just used that word…probably didn’t use it correctly) your life IS great.

  2. As I read your post I thought of the immortal words of Kang: “We must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!” I really look forward to witnessing your twirls and other movements in the next few months!

  3. Here is my secret.

    Life is great. In the moment you are in.

    You are always growing; changing; evolving.

    Being all together is not great. Getting there is.

  4. Kel, I just saw this! THIS MEANS MORE TIME FOR US TO SEE EACH OTHER SINCE I AM WORKING FROM HOME! what a birthday present, I mean, really! xoxoxoxox

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