I’ve had a very long day today, so I don’t have a full-length post in me. But I wanted to report that last night’s self-care routine made a big difference. I was able to navigate smoothly through some things that would have been difficult had I felt tired or anxious. 

I’m taking good care of myself again tonight – I’ll let you know if the effects are cumulative!

Tonight’s Self-Care Routine:

  • Pick up lovely fresh groceries and cheap gas (87.9, y’all!). Pat self on back for bypassing ice cream section without so much as a wistful glance.
  • Put away lovely fresh groceries – meaning, do not shove items into any available crack but place items neatly in their proper place.
  • Update to-do list, checking off items completed and adding helpful reminders for things you will otherwise almost certainly forget to do.
  • Provide Elsie with food in exchange for cuddles.
  • Place today’s clothes NOT in a pile on papasan chair but actually in appropriate laundry bag.
  • Take luxurious hot shower, using nice body wash and the ‘good’ conditioner.
  • Put hair in a sexy bun and then moisturize.
  • Blog, allowing self to simply type whatever comes to mind, and keeping editing to a minimum.
  • Go to bed at reasonable hour, and fall asleep reflecting on an ordinary but wonderful day.

Smell Ya Later! (RideSharer’s Lament)

This is a true story, absolutely 100% free of exaggeration, embellishment or embroidery.

 

“This morning, a young man requested a ride.

When I picked him up, I just couldn’t decide:

Was his sense of smell deadened from years of abuse?

Or did he think cologne was a valid excuse

To forgo all societal bathing conventions;

I hope that seduction was not his intention,

As women aren’t usually too enthusiastic

When the scent of a man makes their bronchioles go spastic!

 

I wanted to tell him ‘Get out of my car!’;

I honestly doubted I’d make it as far

As the corner engulfed in that odious stench;

But I sucked up my misery, cuz I am a mensch.

I drove him uptown, each minute an hour!

No unit of time could diminish the power

Of that foul perfume, as it dug in its claws –

Surely this bastard is breaking some laws?

 

I tried to engage in some light conversation

But found that I couldn’t ignore the sensation

Of icy-hot knives stabbing into my nose;

Such was the force of the scent that he chose.

My eyes watered freely to try to assuage

That odious odor’s relentless barrage

But I suffered in silence, counting each second

While outside my window sweet SWEET fresh air beckoned!

 

After what felt like days, at last – we arrived!

I honestly couldn’t believe I’d survived.

He set out from my car with a smile and a wave,

Not seeing the under-dash finger I gave.

I wish that I’d mustered the courage to tell him

That even folks living in China could smell him!

I hate that his scent trailed me all the way home,

But at least this ordeal spawned a half-decent poem!”